1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn`t have received anything at all.
3: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless mails you send me until I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
4: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged Euro5.99 for the first ten words and Euro1.99 for each additional word in your message.
5: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.`(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many individuals did this over and over).
6: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
7: I`ve run away to join a different circus.
8: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as ` Margaret ` instead of `Steve`.
